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Why do people in love do stupid things to ruin the relationship? Sometimes people love themselves and their partner for who they are, that may not be a match.

In some cases, they try to change the other.

In other instances, people are just greedy and can’t stand it when their partner wants them to be who they really are.

So to get you some ideas, here are some basics to consider when in a healthy relationship, where do we start?

1. Work on your self-esteem

man and woman hugging each other

You have to be the one to work on your self-esteem.

A lot of people get caught up in trying to be the ‘perfect partner’, but at some point, you have to acknowledge and accept who you are and not trying to change it.

The first step is to learn how to love yourself and who you are.

In the beginning, if you don’t love yourself, you’re not likely to be comfortable in your own skin and will try to change your partner into who you want them to be.

2. Discuss the issues at hand

No one wants to be in a relationship where they aren’t sure what their partner wants from them.

It makes it really hard to feel connected to the person you’re spending time with.

You need to tell them when you are not feeling good about yourself and what makes you uncomfortable.

You can always resolve issues that way. However, if the other person is trying to change you, that’s a sign that you aren’t happy with them.

For example, if your partner keeps asking you to wear the perfume, but the scent is really making you feel bad, tell him to stop.

The next time he asks, you need to answer honestly. You should also be willing to talk to him when he’s not being honest.

3. Avoid breaking the ‘forgive & forget’ law

It’s very easy to start repeating the pattern of looking to change your partner into who you want them to be.

That’s why people who are in love tend to break the law.

Most of the time, you have to get over the ‘forgive and forget’ rule, especially if your partner tries to hurt you emotionally or physically.

You have to get over the idea that you have to change the other person. If they want to change, they can.

4. Healthy communication

man holding hand of woman standing near tree

Communication is key when it comes to a healthy relationship. So many couples get married without discussing their concerns with each other.

It’s hard to move forward when you have to work things out all the time. If you don’t talk about your issues, you will never understand your partner.

5. Not fighting for it

It’s common to want to win at all costs. This is the phase people go through when they are in a relationship.

The tough thing about this is that you may lose if you’re not willing to compromise with your partner.

The result will always be the same; if you can’t compromise, you are not in a healthy relationship.

Avoid the temptation to fight for it. Accept that you can’t win every time, and make an effort to work things out.

There is no point in always fighting for things that you don’t have. Work together to fix the problem.

6. Communicate

When things aren’t working out in a relationship, it’s a good idea to communicate.

It could be something simple like, they have been playing your music for hours and you’re annoyed that they won’t stop.

Or, there could be something serious like they didn’t answer your text and you have some questions.

Learn to trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you something isn’t right, then it is.

Most times, your gut is right.

7. Pay attention to them

Once you start taking care of yourself and your needs, you should also make an effort to pay attention to your partner.

If you are not sure what you want, or something’s bothering you, check-in with them.

The relationship won’t work if you’re not taking the time to care about each other. A happy relationship is all about paying attention to what each other is doing and saying.

If your partner is not giving you enough attention or you feel like you are getting the short end of the stick, it’s a clear sign that something is wrong.

8. Create healthy boundaries

Couple in jeans

Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship. When you are in a relationship, you need to respect each other’s space and beliefs.

They have their own rules and they don’t always agree with yours, but it’s important to still respect each other’s boundaries.

You should also do the same for them. You should both respect each other’s boundaries.

You don’t want your partner feeling like you’re always coming around and getting in the way of their life.

Create a balance and a good boundary for each other. You should also make an effort to stay connected.

9. Be open to therapy

Going to a therapist can be a good way to work on issues that are healthily bothering you.

If you are having problems with jealousy, anger, or something else, you should be willing to see a therapist.

Your relationship isn’t as strong as you think it is. If you are unable to handle your issues with a healthy mindset, you will probably give up.

The only way you will get through it is if you are willing to work on yourself.

10. Get along with their family

You want to be able to spend the rest of your life with someone that you love and trust.

If you are not open to spending time with their family, that could be a major factor in why you two are not getting along.

You should be willing to spend time with their family if they are willing to spend time with yours.


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